But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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