if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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