real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Quick, to the slutcave!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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