I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
