Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
