Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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