yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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