I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
well you can't waste a boner
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
