so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
