Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I am one with the molecules
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
