Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
