where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
