you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
