So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
