You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You've changed since you got that strap on
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
