Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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