Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
the day after is always just damage control
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
