All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So vagazzling was a success
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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