Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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