the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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