I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
