We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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