when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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