What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
