why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
