There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
