Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I still have a little drunk in my system
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
