I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
