Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
