Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
