K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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