I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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