Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
