she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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