At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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