Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
