I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
