We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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