I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She bit a glass in half.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
