How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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