I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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