He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
