i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
