i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
