Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
