is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
high people should be assigned attendants
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
