Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
