Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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