Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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