It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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